by Anaximander Lavoie / Dec 2008 / I wanted to touch a subject people usually don’t talk about: are you selfish in your dance career and in life? If your partner feels that you are using her only for your own selfish purpose and needs, then she will leave you sooner or later….
I wanted to touch a subject people usually don’t talk about: the selfish side of you in the DanceSport.
I thought that you have been doing fine with your dance partner as I heard the other day from you over the phone, but is there anyting wrong now with her?
I recall having talked with you that the best you need always is a stable circumstances for you to be able to concentrate on what you need and want and not putting yourself in a turmoil of no control on anything. To have such circumstances for you, you also need to be flexible and understanding towards people around you. Because being flexible and understanding only helps you have your steps towards your dream and goal. If you only insist what you want and need without paying good attentions to your partner’s requirements, then no one will listen to you eventually because you yourself is selfish and ego-centered so long as you stay as said above.
If you were in your partner’s position, then you could think how you would feel and think about you. Such review is a must and needed always when doing things with your partner. Otherwise no healthy understanding and sharing will be there between you and your partner. Well I honestly have no idea on the problem between both of you. But for any pairing, unless there is trust between themselves, intended cooperation will eventualy collapse I think..
You must know that you should have much a wider scope of mind in yourself so that you will have rooms of observation and consideration and caring for people around you and particularly for your dance partner. Perhaps you did not appreciate and consider such in the blind of your strong desire to dance only with top dancers you thought easily available for you.
As seen in the movies and in actual life, we have to earn support and appreciation from the peope around us to make things done. If he or she cannot earn other people’s respect and support and understanding, then he or she is only ego-centered and those who remain so cannot make things done in life. Any so called great people receives other people’s natural support and willingness to help him or her. People come to him or her to support without his or her asking for it. If it is other way round, then he or she has to review himself or herself. I do hope that dancers will look into this reality very clearly by himself so that he can acheive his dream whatever it may be. To achieve dreams takes his own efforts and preparations and support and respect of others, and not only his talent at all! I do hope he will not make the same mistake not to ruin his future as it seems his friends has already done for their. If he tries to short cut such steady steps needed on the road to his dream, then it is very much likely that his dream will end in vain. Any business cannot be made alone and when there is no support and understanding of other people. The point is you cannot solve the issue only by your talent in dancing. The talent in dancing is nothing superior to normal caring and understanding. If you believe that you can do anything only by your talent in dancing, then you need to correct yourself because our reality requires us to be much more humble if you want to chase your own dreams. As you yourself wants to have caring and understanding, your partner also wants the same form you. I think that you need to listen to your own heart now than just following your teachers, father’s, studio owners’ comments. If you are not sincere to your heart, then you will lose yourself and ruin yourself eventually. Think about it! I will continue in the next article with some more analysis (Note: It is illegal to reproduce this article without the expressed written consent from DanceWay.com Team & Anaximander Lavoie)